Becoming Exceptional Social Thinkers
Verbally acknowledge good behavior by specifically stating what the child did that made you proud. Praise is a good way to give a child the attention they may crave.
Use positive body language to show approval for good behavior. Some children do not like to be touched , so use a "thumbs up", a smile or a "high five" to indicate that the child is demonstrating expected behavior.
Model expected behavior. Your child will wonder why he has to say "please" and "thank you", use kind words , listen quietly when spoken to, follow directions and stay in control when it seems that the adult can do anything he pleases. Pay attention to YOUR behavior because a child is watching and learning.
Behavior Strategies
Every behavior has a function or a purpose. A person may misbehave to gain attention, access an item, escape a task or for automatic reinforcement. Make sure that the response to the undesired behavior (consequence) is actually a punisher (decreases behavior) rather than a reinforcer (increases behavior).
Set Expectations, Be Consistent and Follow Through!
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State the expected behavior rather than calling attention to the negative behavior. Say "please raise your hand"rather than "stop blurting!" or "put your coat in the closet" rather than "don't leave your coat on the floor".
Providing reinforcement for desired behaviors will increase the probability that the child will repeat the behavior. Withholding
reinforcement will decrease the probability that the behavior will reoccur in the future.
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Offer choices whenever possible. Do you want to do your spelling first or your reading assignment? Both are acceptable but a choice gives the child control.
Let the child know what will happen next. Use schedules and calendars for transitions and "First, Then" language. First we will have math, Then we will have lunch.
Build internal confidence by reminding the child that they should be proud of themselves for their effort or behaving in a desired way. "You worked so hard on that project!" or"You were so kind to ask the girl to play with you".
Acknowledge the child's feelings with empathy. Let them know you understand that they feel anxious or frustrated and that it is OK to feel that way. Offer to help them work through their feelings.
Don't make empty threats! Say what you mean and mean what you say. You must follow through with what you say to the child. If you say that if the child does not stop banging the pencil, he will never have a pencil again, then you need to make sure that the child NEVER gets a pencil again! Impossible! If you keep making empty threats the child will learn that you don’t mean what you say and will also learn to not take you seriously.